So I have decided once again to keep a food diary so that I can keep a hard copy of what I have stupidly put in my body. I started writing it last night and for the first time in a very long time my calorie consumption was only 1,459 calories which exceeded the requirements for my crash diet, the requirements required me to consume only 1000, I'm not going to let it get me down even know all I wanted to do was get rid of everything in my system, but i haven't purged in about 4 months and as it stands it's my longest record and I honestly don't want to ruin that. my teeth are also in terrible condition because of purging, they are beyond sensitive, and I don't want them to get any worse.
As it stands I have only eaten 882.5 calories today and that's with dinner already counted even know I haven't eaten it yet. I feel like today is a good day. I had an appointment with my therapist and even know I probably shouldn't have mentioned it I told him I was on a crash diet to lose 15 pounds in two weeks (More than likely impossible) but I'm going to try anyway. He told me to be careful as he actually cannot tell me not to do it with me having my own free will and such things like that.
We also talked a lot about the fact that I haven't slept at all in the last week and a half he of course blamed this on the amount of coffee intake that I am known for and also because I tend to do most of my blogging at night so the motivation to keep my brain awake isn't helping matters.
I'm excited and hope that everyday can be like this, if not better, i really don't want to bring in another birthday with the weight I am. i want to be the girl that can sea crop tops in summer and lovely dresses on nights out and it stands I am not that girl, I am no where near that girl, I'm standing somewhere in the background to her massive group of admirers.
I hope you are all doing well and are feeling as great as me today. Stay beautiful.